Saturday 9: Good Morning, Heartache

1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night? Late at Night

2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning? morning

3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed? afternoon

4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you? Darrell from Pantera

5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) Momma, Pammy, Aunt Pammy, or Aunt Momma

6) When was the last time you had the blues? about a week ago

7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate? Keebler peanut butter crackers

8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest? I believe in the preservation of endangered species only if mankind is the reason they are endangered.

9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has? No and no. A lawyer actually told me not to trust a lawyer that runs television ads. He said that a truly good lawyer is one that you have been referred to by a friend. Of course, he was a friend of mine, so I was not able to hire him as a lawyer. He did refer the lawyer to me.

You Will Not Offend This Girl

American language has gone through many dramatic changes in the last twenty years. These controversial changes revolve around how language in a male dominated society offends many American women. I was born during a time of constant criticism and debate. One issue that has always confused me is that of gender-specific language. In the seventies, many women were consumed with the feminist movement. A lot of good things have come out of this movement. Today women have as much right for a job as a man; however, a lot of confusion came out as well. Feminists pushed for people to forget there are differences between women and men. I disagree with them; to me, men and women are very different and this does affect the language that the sexes use. Should we all change to a language that does not offend? I do not mind the label “girl” even though I am a thirty-four year-old woman. Our gender-specific communication seems to be a major issue in American society. The surrounding communication issues include the use of pronouns and descriptive nouns.

I have personally watched the changes in written language over the years. Although I often disagree with many politically correct issues, I have seen the changes creep into the way I write and speak. Mot people that I know never minded the language used in our patriarchal dominated society; for that matter, I never minded either. I feel culture plays a significant part in how people think of the use of gender-specific nouns. Many people feel the use of gender-specific words mold our roles in society. I do not agree with that, nor do I agree with Sherryl Kleinman when she refers to the word “girl” as “an infantilizing term for women” (McGrath, p.371). For me the use of the word girl is an endearing, youthful term. Many of my family members call all young women, including myself, girl. This has not molded the role that I play in society. My father taught me that I cannot always depend on a man to be there for me and to help me with everything. Dad taught me to take care of myself and called me “girl” as he did so. Because of Dad’s encouragement, I am not only a mother and wife, but also a shade tree mechanic, plumber, and carpenter. I do see Kleinman’s point; after all, we would not dare call a grown man “boy.” My husband and I are from two totally different cultures (they are both American cultures) that see the use of language in very different ways. This has given me a window in which I can glimpse at the two cultures and recognize the differences in each culture’s use of language. I do not get offended because in my culture, “girl” is an acceptable way to speak of women. My mother-in-law would be quick to correct you if you called her “girl;” and my husband is very insulted if someone calls him “boy.” The reasoning behind their feelings is that in their culture the words “girl” and “boy” are derogatory terms for women and men. I am aware of this fact and know that my husband does not like to be called boy or sir; therefore, I do not acknowledge him in such terms. On the other hand, my husband knows that I am uncomfortable when I am referred to as woman or ma’am; therefore, he never refers to me in those terms.

Other terms of great controversy and confusion are gender-specific pronouns. When it comes to the use of terms such as he, him, his, she, her, and hers; I am tempted to say who cares. Let people write and speak as they please. I never before believed that I would be swayed by the political correctness of language; but I have noticed politically correct changes in my use of pronouns and nouns. I stick to the use of one, them, they, their, you, and your when referring to people. The use of they is often criticized and “must not be used to refer to single persons” (McWhorter, p.380). McWhorter argues because many people use “they,” then “they” has evolved from a plural pronoun to a singular pronoun. I am guilty of using they in singular form. Using they gives me the freedom to write in a way that people do not get offended.

Other ways I tend to keep from offending others is the use of words such as police officer, firefighter, flight attendant, server, etc. Perhaps my understanding of the reasoning behind political correctness has made me sensitive to the issues at hand. When this change began to come about, I worked at a restaurant. We had close to fifty people on the wait staff. About half of these people were women and half of them were men. We were referred to as servers instead of waiters and waitresses. This was the first time that I had heard wait staff referred to as servers. I liked the term because it did not give the negative mental image that you got from the term waitress, however waiters had always been thought of as more sophisticated than waitresses. This experience in my life accounts for the switch of the use of gender-specific nouns and pronouns in my communication.

Though I feel this has been a positive change to language, I do feel that some people tend to take the political correctness too far. Because the lack of political correctness in classic literature makes them feel uncomfortable, people have begun to rewrite such literature. What is next? Will they begin to rewrite history? As most of us know, history is not politically correct. We also know the bill of rights gives every American the right to speak and write freely. “Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press…” (U.S. Constitution, Amendment I). It may be politically correct to use they or say firefighter, but it is also an individual’s right to print words that may have a patriarchal or matriarchal dominated tone. Whether you call me girl or ma’am, or whether you write in a politically correct or incorrect way; remember, there is always a chance you may offend someone. So, how do we distinguish when to use and when not to use gender-specific terms? The best advice I can give is if you choose not to offend anyone be sure that you use politically correct words and phrases. If you care not whom you offend, write however you like. No matter how you decide to approach this issue, you will not offend this girl.

Ownership

I've learned to roll with the punches and that what we have inside us is all that we really own. Everything else can be taken away, lost, or stolen.

Election

According to the Census Bureau, 234,564,071 adults live in the United States. 62,154,057 voted for Obama. 58,798,967 voted for Romney. 113,611,047 did not vote at all. It's sad, really, really sad that just a little more than half of the U.S. adults vote.

Saturday 9: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

1. Do you ever fantasize about flying, beyond the rainbow or anywhere else? Yes, but not without an airplane.


2. Do you think you have seen The Wizard of Oz more than 10 times? Of course I have, hasn't everyone.


3. Which Wizard of Oz character would you most like to dress as for Halloween? The Wicked Which of the West


4. What will Trick or Treaters get when they come to your front door? My apartment complex does not allow trick or treating.


5. Did you ever TP a neighbor's house or indulge in other acts of Halloween vandalism as a kid? (Don't worry, that statute of limitations is up.) Yes, I egged a neighbor's house and toilet papered my bosses.


6. Who annoys you more -- people who never respond to your texts/emails, or those who never look up because they're always checking their texts/emails? Those who never look up because they're always checking their texts/emails


7. Who was the last person you hugged? My dog, Killer. He's a little Pekingese/Chihuahua mix.


8. What two colors do you like to wear together? Red & Black


9. Did your alarm clock wake you up this fine Saturday morning? No, but Killer did.

Crazy Sam

Mama Kat's Writing Prompt 4

Write a list of 10 things you have said to your kids that other moms might not say.

1.  "That's why I call you two Dr. Destructo and his evil sidekick."
2. "We're taking a trip to Roswell next summer. I figure it's time to take you back to the mother ship."
3. "Don't listen to your teacher. She can't even spell thought."
4.  "When you bite into that Hello Kitty marshmallow, let's get the red food coloring, make it look like she's bleeding, take a picture of it, and post it on the internet." {Link}
5. "If you get in trouble for wearing those pants to school because of that little hole in the leg, tell the principal if she doesn't like what you wear, she can buy your clothes. At least you aren't showing your underwear like those other boys."
6. "So what if they call you a nerd. You just take after your mother."
7. Damien: "Guess what we're doing in math class." Me: "Math"
8. "No, I didn't take any drugs to act like this. I woke up this way!"
9. Damien: "Oh, that's just a beetle. It's not a serious bug." Me: "Damien, what would be a serious bug, a bookworm?"
10. Damien: "We sniff flowers because they smell pretty. Right?" Me: "Yeah." Damien: "The center of the flowers are the most fragrant parts, but they are also where the pollen comes from. And, the flower is the reproductive part of the plant. Right?" Me: "Yeah!" Damien: "So does that mean that when we sniff flowers, we are sniffing their genitals?" Me: [sarcastically] "Yeah, Damien, we sniff flowers genitals." Dyl: "Mom! That old lady behind you can hear you." Me: "Well, she has genitals too, Dyl."   

Mama Kat

Inspiring Staff Writer

Damien is a staff writer for The Cooper Crest, his high school news paper. This is his third year working on the paper, and his articles have always been well written. However, none of them can compare to the article he most recently wrote. For those of you who don't know or have not figured it out yet, Damien is autistic. {I know that it is not politically correct to word the sentence that way, and I should say a teen with autism. However, Damien has educated me on that as well. He said, "You cannot take the autism out of me because it is part of me. I am autistic." So, please, do not take offense that I talk to my child and about my child in the way he wishes me to.}

Anyway, being autistic means, that we do not always see the emotions that fuel my child. He does not express himself in the way that most neuro-typical people, or as Damien puts it, humans do. That is why this article has touched me and brought tears to my eyes. For someone who cannot express his emotions through his voice and the words that he speaks, he writes with an eloquence that evokes emotions in the reader; and his written words give us a glimpse of the emotions welling deep inside Damien.

Here is his article:

"Assembly Was Inspiring

My impression of the assembly that former NFL player Keith Davis performed on Oct. 10 was that it was quite inspiring.

He made me realize just how low my self-esteem is. That is something that a lot of people in my life have brought to my attention, but it took a pep talk from my parent and a motivational speaker to allow me to realize it. Like he said, I had a bad first half. Definitely not as bad as some people, but a bad one nonetheless.

But Davis told us about our second half, that we shouldn't allow these bars to keep us from reaching our dreams, that we have great potential, as big as our dreams, and that we should fulfill them no matter how bad our first half was.

He told us we have a chance at a good second half as long as we bend the bar, like he did, and move forward, whether our bar was just the kids who bullied us, our drug-addicted mothers, our bad lifestyles, or being incarcerated all your life. Our second half is the only part of the game that matters, not our first half.

When he told us about his life, I'm sure it inspired many people, how he overcame his father dying, his mother becoming an alcoholic, and us just seeing the stage where he is now. He told us his bad first half, but we could see his great second half.

Just where he was and where he is now are not the same. I know that I'm better than the way I look at myself. The only reason I treat myself the way I do is because I don't feel like I'm worth anything. In retrospect, the assembly made me feel better about myself. I am better than what some people at school, and I, look at me as." (Damien Brown, The Cooper Crest, October 15, 2012, Volume 53, Number 1, Page 5)

As a mother reading how much my child is hurting because of the bullying he has endured, I had to fight back the tears this story brought to my eyes. My heart aches for my child every single day. I worry as most other parents do, but I feel sometimes I worry a little more about Damien. I worry that his self-esteem issues will keep him from excelling to the man that I know he can and should be. I work hard to encourage this wonderful child that I have been blessed with. His autism is not a curse, but his self-esteem is.

With that being said, I am very inspired by Damien. He does see his self-esteem as a curse, and he is working hard to overcome that barrier. He is now 'bending the bar' and continually fighting against everything that he has been told. Damien is taking my advice, and I am proud that he listens to that advice. "When they say you can't, you prove them wrong." Damien, I am sure your second half is going to be something that will inspire others.

Articles on autism and bullying:

School Bullies Prey on Children With Autism
Why Autistic Kids Make Easy Targets for School Bullies
Combating Bullying
Almost Half of Teens with Autism Bullied: Study