Tragedy In The U.S.

My mind was still reeling from the local news reports Friday  morning. On Thursday morning, local business man drew a gun on police officers that resulted in his death. I responded by saying, "This can't be happening here. Not in this town. You hear about this kind of thing happening in larger cities, but not here." The more I thought about it, I realized that it does happen here; and we have been directly affected by it.

Several years back, a gang war erupted in our small city. A young mentally disabled child was killed by gunfire, and the war grew out of hand. My husband and I were shopping with the children in the local mall when the battle came to its peak. There was fighting, and guns and knives were being waved around as we tried to protect our boys. The stores closed their doors locking us amidst the violent altercation. All my husband and I could do to protect our boys was back them into a corner and shield them with our bodies. Officers soon got the skirmish under control, and we were directed out of the mall. I never realized until now, that it was a good two years before I would walk through those mall doors once again.

Though it was a horrifying experience, I never thought that I would hear of a person shooting at police officers in my town. But, it did happen, and the result was the loss of the life to the local business man along with the discovery of 131 firearms and 63,000 rounds of ammunition. The gunman's family members are in mourning, and the officer who had been left with little choice but to fire back is undergoing the required treatment for officers that take a life. Two families are in turmoil because of this needless altercation.

My mind was still reeling about the battle that ensued on the other side of the freeway from my home. I thought of how lucky we are to be safe from gun violence when the news broke about Newtown, Connecticut. I cannot begin to imagine how the parents must feel. As I watched the news in terror, tears flowed freely from my eyes. Those poor innocent babies, teachers, and faculty ~ Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Anne Marie Murphy, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto, Benjamin Wheeler, and Allison N. Wyatt.

Today, the news is still engrossed with coverage for the horrifying massacre. My heart aches for the family and friends of the children and faculty of the small school, as it aches for the family and friends of the gunman. We could never understand what drove him to draw one of his four guns on the students and teachers ending their lives. What traumatic event did this young man undergo to make him feel the need to take the lives of others? It was recently released he was the victim of bullying at a school he attended. Could this be the reason for his mental anguish?

I am further horrified at the probable repercussions toward children and adults with autism due to guessing game the media is irresponsibly playing about the possible mental health issues the gunman may or may not have had. I have extensively researched, bipolar disorder, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and Reactive Attachment Disorders (RAD) both in University and through my employment as a Child Protective Services Investigator. Each of these four disorders are often misdiagnosed, meaning a person with these disorders exhibit traits with another one of these disorders. I find it hard to believe that this man had an ASD, as children with an ASD are less likely to be violent toward other people. For a matter of fact, most people with an ASD are likely to be law abiding citizens and have a need to follow laws and rules.

If people with autism do exhibit violent tendencies, it is more likely to be in the form of a self-injurious behavior or an INSTANTANEOUS outburst due to SUDDEN frustration and stress. They are not likely to plan out a violent event. The truth is, no one is certain whether this man had any of these disorders because diagnoses can be incorrect; but it is more likely that it would have been a disorder that a symptom is a risk taking behavior such as ADHD, RAD, or bipolar disorder. I want to make it quite clear that I am not saying all people with these disorders are dangerous. Anyone, even people with no history of mental illness or mental health issues, can snap, just as they all can be perfectly fine.

My fears are founded as my son with autism has worked so hard throughout his life to be accepted, and now, we fear that people are going to treat him like there is something wrong with him because of the media's quick response to put the blame off on autism. Just to think that all of these 17 years of hard work for my son could be all taken away because of one man's actions and the media's misrepresentation of autism breaks my heart.

Regardless, it is clear that something is very wrong with this country. While I was learning of our local gunfire incident, I also learned of the mall shooting in Oregon, where Cindy Ann Yuille and Steven Forsyth lost their lives. Then, of course there is the Newton incident on Friday. Saturday, California was rocked by the gunfire at an open air mall where twenty shots were fired in the air luckily not hitting anyone. Sunday night, two police officers, Corporal David Gogian and Jeff Atherly, were shot in the head and killed by a gunman in the parking lot of a grocery store in Kansas. This shooter has lost his life in another standoff with police officers in Topeka, Kansas. In November, a thirteen year old girl, Lourdes Guzman, was shot and killed in front of her seven year old sister on a private school bus in Florida.

We, as a country, still have not healed from the Sikh Temple shooting in Wisconsin where Bhai Seeta Singh, Bhai Parkash Singh, Bhai Ranjit Singh, Satwant Singh Kaleka, Subegh Singh, and Parmjit Kaur Toor lost their lives. We still have not healed from the Aurora theater shooting where Jonathon Blunk, Alexander "AJ" Boik, Jessie Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander Teves, Rebecca Wingo, and the unborn child of Ashley Moser lost their lives, as well as the numerous people injured (Petra Anderson, Adan Avila, Brandon Axelrod, Tony Billipando, Christina Blanche, Maria Carbonell, Alejandra Cardona-Lamas, Louis Duran, Craig Enlund, Alex Expinoza, Jacqueline Fry, Yousef Gharbi, Zachary Golditch, Munirah Gravelly, Eugene Han, Jay Jenkins, Bonnie Kate, Jasmine Kennedy, Marcus Kizzar, Patricia Legaretta, Brenton Lowak, Ryan Lumba, Caleb Medley, Ashley Moser, Stephen Moton, Joshua Nowlan, Pierce O'Farrill, Prodeo Patria, Rita Paulina, Christopher Rapoza, Carli Richards, Dion Roseborough, Carey Rottman, Lucas Smith, Heather Snyder, Ferrah Soudana, Catherine Streib, Jamison Toews, Denise Traynom-Axelrod, Marcus Weaver, Michael White, David Williams, Allie Young, Jansen Young, Samantha Yowler, Gage Hankins, Mckayla Hicks, Stephen Barton, Nickelas Gallup, Evan Farris, Jennifer Avila, Jarrell Brooks, Amanda Hernandez-Memije, Kelly Lewis, Bonnie Pourcian, Anggiat Mora, Ethan Rohrs, and Nathan Juranek).

These are only a few of the violent shootings that have rocked our country and ripped at the hearts of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends country wide. I have no answers as to what should be done. I have no clue what motivates people to take the lives of innocent people. I do know that all of the people who have fell victim to such violence need to be remembered because once we realize that this could have been us, and it could be our families suffering, then, and only then, can we do something to attempt to end the violence.

 

Original Poem by Isha Jade

Facts About Autism:

Mind Retrofit ~ UPGRADING TO THE ASPERGER'S LIFE

Autism Links

Autism Support Network

The National Professional Development Center on Autism Spectrum Disorders

Stephen Shore

The Autism Site

An Alien In Our World

The Unconventional Foundation for Autism

Centers for Disease Control: Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs)

The National Institute for Neurological Disorders and Stroke

What Autism Isn't

ABC News: Experts: No Link Between Asperger's, Violence

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (NIV Matthew 19:14)

Inspiring Staff Writer

Damien is a staff writer for The Cooper Crest, his high school news paper. This is his third year working on the paper, and his articles have always been well written. However, none of them can compare to the article he most recently wrote. For those of you who don't know or have not figured it out yet, Damien is autistic. {I know that it is not politically correct to word the sentence that way, and I should say a teen with autism. However, Damien has educated me on that as well. He said, "You cannot take the autism out of me because it is part of me. I am autistic." So, please, do not take offense that I talk to my child and about my child in the way he wishes me to.}

Anyway, being autistic means, that we do not always see the emotions that fuel my child. He does not express himself in the way that most neuro-typical people, or as Damien puts it, humans do. That is why this article has touched me and brought tears to my eyes. For someone who cannot express his emotions through his voice and the words that he speaks, he writes with an eloquence that evokes emotions in the reader; and his written words give us a glimpse of the emotions welling deep inside Damien.

Here is his article:

"Assembly Was Inspiring

My impression of the assembly that former NFL player Keith Davis performed on Oct. 10 was that it was quite inspiring.

He made me realize just how low my self-esteem is. That is something that a lot of people in my life have brought to my attention, but it took a pep talk from my parent and a motivational speaker to allow me to realize it. Like he said, I had a bad first half. Definitely not as bad as some people, but a bad one nonetheless.

But Davis told us about our second half, that we shouldn't allow these bars to keep us from reaching our dreams, that we have great potential, as big as our dreams, and that we should fulfill them no matter how bad our first half was.

He told us we have a chance at a good second half as long as we bend the bar, like he did, and move forward, whether our bar was just the kids who bullied us, our drug-addicted mothers, our bad lifestyles, or being incarcerated all your life. Our second half is the only part of the game that matters, not our first half.

When he told us about his life, I'm sure it inspired many people, how he overcame his father dying, his mother becoming an alcoholic, and us just seeing the stage where he is now. He told us his bad first half, but we could see his great second half.

Just where he was and where he is now are not the same. I know that I'm better than the way I look at myself. The only reason I treat myself the way I do is because I don't feel like I'm worth anything. In retrospect, the assembly made me feel better about myself. I am better than what some people at school, and I, look at me as." (Damien Brown, The Cooper Crest, October 15, 2012, Volume 53, Number 1, Page 5)

As a mother reading how much my child is hurting because of the bullying he has endured, I had to fight back the tears this story brought to my eyes. My heart aches for my child every single day. I worry as most other parents do, but I feel sometimes I worry a little more about Damien. I worry that his self-esteem issues will keep him from excelling to the man that I know he can and should be. I work hard to encourage this wonderful child that I have been blessed with. His autism is not a curse, but his self-esteem is.

With that being said, I am very inspired by Damien. He does see his self-esteem as a curse, and he is working hard to overcome that barrier. He is now 'bending the bar' and continually fighting against everything that he has been told. Damien is taking my advice, and I am proud that he listens to that advice. "When they say you can't, you prove them wrong." Damien, I am sure your second half is going to be something that will inspire others.

Articles on autism and bullying:

School Bullies Prey on Children With Autism
Why Autistic Kids Make Easy Targets for School Bullies
Combating Bullying
Almost Half of Teens with Autism Bullied: Study

32 Buzzards Later

It was vacation time, and once again, we were contemplating on what we should do. For years, DJ and I have had stay-cations instead of vacations, and this year, we did not relish the thought of having another stay-cation. After much deliberating and contemplating, we chose to take a vacation to Galveston for several reasons. We wanted to see my sister, niece, nephew, and my mother. I also thought it would be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know Gary better, especially since Mom and he will be marrying soon. We packed up the car, cramming everything that we could think of for Cass in the trunk and back seat along with our belongings. We headed on the long trip down Highway 36 to 290 to 610 to I-10 and finally I-45. Thirty two buzzards later, we found ourselves in Santa Fe, Texas just north of Galveston. The humidity was stifling, but the beautiful flora and fauna were worth dealing with our sultry surroundings. We were greeted by Mom, Gary, and Sashi. Sashi was grateful to have children, Damien and Dylan, to play with, and I was grateful that we made it through the blinding rainstorm in Houston without a hitch. I was, however, saddened that my niece would not joining us on this trip. We ate dinner and spent our time talking to my future step-father and my mother before we headed off to bed for much needed rest.

Sunday, Mom and Gary took us to The Strand in Galveston to meet up with Cass where she works, Dolphin World. I enjoyed looking around the shops, but grew weary of seeing the same old thing in shop after shop quickly. We rode over to Cass's home which is in the scenic Victorian part of town to set up her shelf we brought and drop off her new movies, Playstation 3, and various other belongings. Afterward, I had DJ drive down to the Ferry Landing. We parked in the lot and took the Ferry to Bolivar Peninsula and back. Here, I experimented with my shutter speed as I photographed the pelicans flying overhead.

On this trip, we were on the Ray Stoker Jr. instead of the Lanier. Because it was the Sunday before July 4th, three ferries were running rather than the normal two for Sunday traffic. The Dedman was the other ferry, and I can honestly say in all of my years of riding the ferry from the island to the mainland, I have never had the opportunity to ride the Dedman.

Riding the ferry always brings back memories of the boys and I spending two weeks a year every summer in Galveston with Mom and Dad. It reminded me of the 3-5 trips a year the boys and I made in order to spend time with my parents and later my niece, nephew, and sister before Dad passed away. Dad always took us on the ferry, and just like this time, we would look out into the bay and watch the dolphins chasing the wake of the passing ships. We would watch the sail boats jettison off toward the sea, and we would watch the Bolivar lighthouse grow as we neared.

DJ, the boys, and I did not step off of the Ferry when it landed at the mainland. The return trip to the island provided me with the opportunity to photograph the many, many seagulls chasing the ferry.

This trip was different than many of the others because this time I got share the memory with my best friend, DJ. I pointed out the different kinds of ships and barges as we passed, and I realized it is time to put the past behind me and live in the now. This trip did not sadden me and make me yearn to see my father one last time. This trip was jovial and joyful as I was able to make the memories new and fresh.

As we neared the Coast Guard base, our ferry ride came to a close. We exited the ferry and drove to the seawall where we allowed the boys to dive into the ocean and go for a swim. DJ and I walked on the beach hand-in-hand and talked about the life that we plan to share with one another. The salt water felt good on my tired, achy feet and calves. The water lapped at my toes as it washed the sand below me away sinking my body into the sand. In order to allow the boys to dry, we walked across the street to Sonic for a milkshake before we returned to Santa Fe.

Monday, Cass was off of work, so Mom decided that she would take us to the State Park on the west end of the Island for a picnic with Cass and Zach. However, the State Park ended up being a no go, as the rates had gone up, and it would have cost more than any of us could afford to pay $5 per person for seven people. We travelled further west past the toll road and found free public beach access. Again, the boys took off into the ocean while the rest of us ate our sandwiches. DJ and I walked down the beach, and we had to wade through the thick red seaweed that washed along the shore. The boys ate, and after a while, we returned to Galveston. Mom dropped Zachary off to get a haircut, and DJ, Damien, and I opted to stay at Cass' house with Cass to await Mom, Dylan, and Zach's return. This gave us the opportunity to catch up with Cass and take turns playing Grand Theft Auto IV.

Cass said that she has been doing well, and is grateful that we brought her something to do, as she was growing bored when she was at home alone. This is the first time in Cass' 41 years that she has ever lived completely on her own. Her efficiency apartment is small, but it is suitable for a single woman. Zach spends a lot of his time with his mother, and he does sleep at her home most nights. I enjoyed spending time with my sister, for we have only just begun to be close with one another. I hope with all my heart that we have the relationship that we should have had all of the past years.

When Mom returned with the boys, we said goodbye to our hosts. Mom drove us out to East Beach. There, the seaweed was not the bothersome nuisance as it was on the other two beaches we had visited. The beach was clean, the breeze from the ocean was cool, and the weather was favorable. The sand was soft and cool on my bare feet. We neared the water, and the soft sand grew firm and warm.

DJ and I walked along the sand and we watched the moon rise up into the sky. DJ picked up shells that I pointed out along the way and gently placed him in his pockets. Among the many clam shells, I found an oyster shell and two shards of sand dollars.

I snapped pictures of everything that I gazed upon, and DJ and I watch as people took turns soaring into the sky via parachute and fan. We talked about my lack of courage that would need to do such a thing. I laughed and told DJ that I would scream the entire time that I was on such a contraption, and I would miss out on the entire point of the thing, seeing beauty of the world in a way I had not seen before.

As evening neared, the lifeguard stand was abandoned, but it presented an opportunity for great, colorful photos.

DJ and I walked past tide pools where we spotted tiny creatures and seagulls feasting on what the could catch. Though you may not be able to spot it in the photos, the ground was covered with the tiny shells of the clams that rode the tide into the beach. There were millions of these small shells covering East Beach.

The sun began to set, and we watched it fall closer to the horizon. DJ and I walked hand-in-hand, Dyl walked with Mom, and Damien walked alone. The evening was a relaxing one. Words cannot explain the peace we felt or the natural beauties that kept us in awe.

DJ often walked off into the ocean and allowed the warm gulf waters flow over his feet. The boys joined him, and I could not resist the opportunity to photograph my family, my three favorite men. I could spend a lifetime attempting to express the love I feel for them, and you would never understand the depth of the love that I feel or the love that dwells in my heart. For, they are my heart, and they are the epitome of love.

Each of us posed along East Beach in order to be photographed. First, Dyl with Mom, then, Damien with mom, and finally DJ and I posed with one another.

Soon, we neared the jetty where we watched the ships enter and exit the bay. The sun dropped further toward the earth, but we continued to explore. The more near to the jetty we had come, the more we noticed the shells were moving about. The rocks of the jetty were covered with hundreds if not thousands of hermit crabs. I shot the small water spiders, and I discovered a red crab who had affixed himself beneath the rocks.

There he sat waiting for what I know not, but I know he was not expecting me. He grabbed at my stick as it neared him, and he actually took the stick away. I could not resist the opportunity to shoot away at the small creature to whom I must look like a giant. I stood close watching him move, and it was not until I returned home and began to process my photos that I realized there was a smaller crab that must have been right next to my feet. I am fortunate that he did not try to clasp his claws on my foot. Other crabs began to dig themselves from under the massive rocks of the jetty and scurry about. I wish I had been able to photograph them as well, but my battery ran dead, and my spare was close to a mile away in Mom's car.

We travelled back to Santa Fe and turned in for the night. The rose in the bush next to Mom's house that had only just begun to open had already begun to wilt.

DJ and I were tired and ragged and decided to take Tuesday to relax as we knew we had a big day ahead of us and a long trip just the day after. As the evening approached, I began to feel bad for the boys as they were terribly bored with no cousins to hang out with and nothing to keep them occupied. Mom did take the boys and I to Jack Brooks Park in Hitchock, and I am grateful that she chose to get them from the house if only for an hour or so. Where Mom lives is at the corner of Santa Fe next to Hitchcock, Texas City, and League City.

On July 4th, we traversed back to Galveston to see Cassie and to pick up Zachary. We made our way toward downtown in order to take the boys to the beach and to secure a spot on the jetty in order to watch the fireworks. To our surprise roads were corded off, and we happened upon the beginning of a 4th of July parade. The parade was more or less a political parade as it is an election year. However, there were interesting sights that rode before us, and often those upon the floats tossed beads to the crowd. Between the boys, DJ, Mom, Zach, and Me, I ended up with 37 strands of beads, and I did not have to show my boobs for a single one.

The parade ended, and candy was strewn about the road. We secured a nice little spot on the jetty, were we awaited the show. The beach was far too crowded to sit on, and the photos would be better if shot from the jetty anyway. I was not the only person that recognized the window of opportunity to shoot from there. I was angry at myself, however, that I had failed to pack and carry my tripod with me.

While we awaited the evening light show, I took the opportunity to photograph the newly constructed Pleasure Pier. The pier is not complete, and all of the rides are not opened yet. Mom said that they currently are not charging full price to enter the pier. As we arrived on limited funds, we did not venture to the pier on this occasion. As the evening progressed and night overtook the sky, I dialed down my shutter speed to allow me to catch the lights from the rides. The ferris wheel is, thus far, my favorite.

I also took this opportunity to photograph my loved ones as they sat on the jetty watching and waiting for the evening's show. Damien's anxiety level was high as the crowds stress him, so he spent the evening off by himself. I have learned to give him space and time to adjust.

The evening light glowed on Mom's skin, and she watched the festivities around her. Dylan listened to his iTouch as he waited. Zach sat patiently and quietly awaiting for the the night to begin.

And DJ sat watching and waiting in a happy gaze. I can only guess what he was thinking, and I like to think that he was enjoying feeling the ocean breeze brush against his skin and through his hair. That he was consumed with the sounds of the waves lapping against the rocks, and that he found great joy in making new memories with his wife and children.

The sun fell behind the buildings across from the seawall, and the sky shone a brilliant gold then suddenly darkened. It was almost the time that we had all awaited.

We all watched in awe as each rocket soared into the air. The fireworks exploded and lit both the sky and the water. I watched the colors dance across the waves and the waters. I failed to prevent the camera shake I was expecting due to the missing tripod, but I feel the photos were still a success, as was the show that carried on for near an hour. DJ and I stood watching the last of the pyros shoot into the sky and the warmth of his hand in mine comforted me. I could not think of a better way to spend the Fourth and celebrating the birth of our nation.

After the show was over, we returned to Mom's home in order to prepare for the journey ahead of us. For on Thursday, we returned home.